12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just had sex on a roof
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
