before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
