ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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