i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
