so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
