I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
God, I missed his penis.
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