You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
