I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
