I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
