Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Randomize
