There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
