I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
