you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I pour the whiskey from now on
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
