if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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