MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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