no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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