I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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