Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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