Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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