i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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