I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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