what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
