I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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