Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
a search helicopter?!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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