so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize