i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
