On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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