actually, I'm a sock model
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
