Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My day in three words: secret purse cake
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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