his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Boobs speak an international language.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
