I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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