gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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