Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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