If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My pussy is not your playground.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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