Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
