True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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