yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
