You're so nebulous sometimes
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
