Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
