The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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