I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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