your room smells of hookers.
And success
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
