apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
