Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
