Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
