Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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