Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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