somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
