Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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