They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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