dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
