Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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