Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
