Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
