he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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