He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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