I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
