Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
