He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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