If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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