I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
