I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
