It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
