do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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