Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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